Lately there have been things in my life that I have been wanting, and not getting. Sound familiar? It should…
There are always things that we look for in life, and timing is EVERYTHING with us. Often times, we want something NOW and not later, other times, we want something later, and are really NOT ready for it at all (or so we think).
There are several biblical examples of this same mindset we have today. The one I will talk about, is the story of Abraham, Sarah, and the birth of their son Isaac. This story has a huge hold on me as I have equated it (on a smaller scale) to my life. I named my son Isaac for that very reason. Sarah was barren, and both her and her husband were old. One day God sent an angel to tell them that they would conceive a son in their old age, and that he would be a father of many nations. Sarah laughed, and Abraham was struck with disbelief. They waited and waited and waited, and became impatient. They took matters into their own hands and Sarah told Abraham to sleep with her hand maid. He did so and she conceived Ishmael. Now Ishmael, though being the first born, was NOT in Gods plan, or timing. He was sent away from his father and he would later become a father to many as well. Though he was the first born, he was not Gods promised one. Many years later, lots of waiting, Isaac was born. He later fathered Jacob who fathered the 12 nations of Israel.
If that isn’t a story of hope, I don’t know what is. God wanted to wait until there was no hope of Sarah and Abraham conceiving before he gifted them with child. Why? To give them, and others, proof that God will keep his promises!
Now, to parallel that (still on a small scale) to my life, I was told about 4 years ago that I could not bear children. I tried anyways and had very very little hope. It was much of what made me spiral into a depression and there is more on that in my other posts. I had always wanted to be a mother, and my husband was ready for a baby too. According to God, we weren’t. We were still newly weds, and looking back, I see so many reasons why having a child at the time was just a horrible horrible Idea!!!! I was in terrible health. I was not saved. My husband was still popping anxiety medications and I was still in the “party girl” stage of my life. Our relationship was rocky at best, and I would not have made a great mother at the time.
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
I didn’t know that then though! I hated God for not wanting to give me a child. I was angry and depressed and I was heartbroken. It took me years to come to terms with my condition and that I was just going to start to have to live life and deal with it. I started living to better my life, and my relationship with my husband and I strengthened my relationship with God. While I really desperately still wished for a child, my hope was dead and I just had to deal with what I was given. Two cats and a dog. A few years from the date of my diagnosis, I was very comfortable and happy in life, my relationship was wonderful, and I was in a really great place. I had lost weight, gotten off of my bipolar medications, my husband was no longer on medication, and we were living life to the fullest. BOOM!!!! I was pregnant. Didn’t know how it happened, or why, but I was pregnant. God had given me a child. He was a blessing, a wonderful, perfect blessing. We named him Isaac, as he is the “child of promise” and oddly enough the name also means laughter. I have yet to go a day without hearing him crack himself up for an hour straight.
God was true to me, and if I had given birth to a child when I had WANTED one, chances are, I would not be the devoted, loving, and unselfish parent I am today. I would have probably turned out a lot worse. I needed to focus on my walk with God, and my relationship with my husband, or my child would not have grown up in a happy, and unbroken home.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
So now, I am struggling, once again, with something that I want, that I know its not the time for, and I just need to remind myself that Gods timing, is the best timing. Only HE is the all powerful, all seeing, all knowing God, and only HE can know when it is best for me to get the things that I want. If I even get them at all!!! He may have something even better in store for me, because as a child of God, he just wants what is best for me! He wants the best for you too! So stay on the path and wait for our God!!!! Pray that I can remain patient. It is easier said than done, but I have faith that the lord will be my strength through this trying time.
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told. …
- Waiting With A Heart Full of Faith (blessedbyfaith72.wordpress.com)
- “God Is Faithful” (iamnotashamedofthegospelofchrist.com)
- Answers to Your Prayer, But not the Answer You Were Looking For (prayercommunicationwithgod.wordpress.com)
- Genesis 21:11, 22:1-19 God Himself Will Provide (aboutfiveblog.com)