Addictions and Transformation

What is yours?

A few months back, I had quite a few of them! I was addicted to nicotine for about 5 years, I was definitely someone with an addictive personality. I would get glued to pretty much EVERYTHING, from TV shows, to alcohol, to nicotine. I was addicted to food and ate quite a bit more than I should and gained a good 40-50 lbs. I fortunately had the sense, or at least the luck to not be exposed to any of the harder drugs like cocaine or heroin, but if I were around others doing it, I probably would have. I had what some would call NO SELF CONTROL.

Years ago I struggled with sexual addiction. Nearly destroying my marriage God saved me from that, but in my folly, I allowed myself to fall into other patterns of addiction.

It was who I was, I couldn’t help it.

Galatians 5:19-21

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.


So what changed? Well I call it ‘conviction of the holy spirit’. The first thing that happened, before I had quit anything, was that I began to listen to a sermon every day. Charles Stanley, Joseph prince, all those guys! Hearing those sermons are what encouraged me to start dipping into the bible. I started listening to the audio bible while I cleaned, while I sat around, and while I browsed Facebook. Then one day my husband and I were discussing finances and I decided to take a better look at our (not so much of a)  budget! I put together all of the numbers and realized that we were over paying and under earning.  There was one number that stood out to me though, and it was how much I was spending on those supposedly cheap e cigarettes. I immediately felt sick. Deeply deeply disgusted with myself! I mean, what good was nicotine REALLY doing for me? It was a habit, nothing more, just a meaningless and rather expensive habit. An addiction that was really costing me. Im not even going to GET into the physical cost, but the monetary cost was enough. Something in my spirit shook, and I reached down out of habit to take a hit of my Ecig, I got so sick in my stomach that I was able to throw it away from me. Its been over a month now, and not one hit. There just isn’t any reason for it!!! That was just the start of my battle with my addictive personality.

1 Corinthians 6:12

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.

At the time I was eating a LOT. Especially once I quit my Ecig, and I noticed that a few days after I quit. I realized I was just over compensating for one addiction with another, and If you bought all organic and non GMO food, you would know what I mean when I say “cost”! So slowly I began to replace food, with a more spiritual ‘food’. I dove deeper and deeper into the word. I found that the release of my constant food and nicotine cravings was getting easier and easier, and the proverbial “monkey on my back” feeling was gone within days.  I even started losing weight!!! Like, a lot, it was falling off!!!!

Philippians 3:19

Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.

Once I started getting better with food, I found that I had yet to address another issue. I wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic, but I could never JUST HAVE ONE drink. I was an all or nothing type girl! It was pointless to drink without getting drunk!!!! I mean, that is why alcohol exists right? Wrong. Wine, like many things, can be pretty good for you. IN MODERATION. So again, I dove in the word. I prayed for help. I needed to release this need to do more, to overindulge. It took a lot more strength than I am willing to admit, but that is why GOD was so important in this equation. He is made perfect in my weaknesses!!!! Why WOULDN’T GOD want to help me!!!! I wanted to be obedient to God in every way. When you are not obedient, you do not receive his blessings in full! Just like a parent withholding gifts from a misbehaving child! I finally could let up. I’m not sure how and when the transformation took place with this, but some how, and some way, the craving lessened and I no longer NEEDED more than one glass of wine, and liqueur was a thing of the past! It was a wonderfully freeing experience knowing I have control in an area where I once didn’t! My prayers of fear and defeat, soon became songs of praise! I was free…. or so I thought. Of course there was more!

Ephesians 5:18

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,

In the end I realized there was something that I have slowly been letting go of thanks to God, but I still had a tight and worrisome grip. That grip was on my “self”. I realized I wasnt living for God, I was still living for myself in a way. I needed to totally put that sense of “mememe” in the back seat and let Jesus “take the wheel”.  I prayed about that, and I let go. Even after defeating those three mega addictions, I felt the freest I have ever felt. i was released from chains.

Most people think that becoming a christian is a way to just “tie yourself down”. That is the biggest misconception. Although, when you are still living in the world, you love those things… If anyone were to tell you to quit right now, you would probably laugh and say yeah… right…. or something of the sort. That was how I thought as well. Regardless, at some point, you may notice the effects those things take on your body, your livelihood, your spirit.

I realized at one point that those things PREVENTED me from having the relationship with my heavenly father that would save my eternal soul. God healed my body, my mind, and my spirit! I am FREE from the bindings of addiction forever. My only addiction now is a craving for the holy spirit! A craving I have to tell as many people as I can about this wondrous feeling in my spirit! Better than the finest wine, and the strongest drink. Far better than a giant hit off of a cigarette, and even better than my favorite cookies or even coffee! God gave me convictions that felt like torture at first, but soon I saw the light, a freedom. I can never go back, praise the lord.

James 1:12-15

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.


My prayer for you is that you will call on the lord for help. My prayer is that he will release you from your own chains and free you from a suffering you may not even be aware of. That he will allow you to live out the rest of your life in his peace and freedom. God is too good to let go of for a simple addiction. I pray that you will find peace, in Jesus name, Amen.


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