But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
I began my post with that verse because it is often misinterpreted as meaning that the wife is lowly and subject to her husband. When we think of “submission” in todays world, women all around the world flip out as if it were a curse word. Its as if the word “submission” has been modernly defined as “abuse”.
This is really not the case. I am all for a STRONG, POWERFUL woman!!!! I also believe that once married, the strength of a woman is defined by how well she cares for her family and leads her family through Godly example. In a good, strong marriage, the husband would take control of his roles. He will lead his family through spiritual warfare, he will comfort them in trouble, and will be the primary example to the entire family in their walk with God. The husband will be respectful and understanding of his wife, and will ALSO SUBMIT to her!!!! (That part is often left out when men make the point for submission)
1 Peter 3:7
7 Husbands, likewise, submit by living with your wife in ways that honor her, knowing that she is the weaker partner. Honor her all the more, as she is also a coheir of the gracious care of life. Do this so that your prayers won’t be hindered.
Even that verse would be enough to anger today’s feminists…. but lets be HONEST LADIES!!!! Unless we are Giant and shooting up testosterone and steroids, or if we married a man who is really truly minuscule, we ARE the weaker partner. Unless you have a heart of stone, we are also emotionally and psychologically weaker as well! Not to mention once a month we get a dose of hormones that get us unraveled in all sorts of ways. Now there are exceptions to every case, so I cannot speak for everyone, but generally, the wife really is weaker than a man. We are also stronger than men in many aspects, but that is not what this verse is getting at. When it says “weaker” it makes sense to me in a way that does not insult me. I take it to mean what we already know: many men emotionally break us down. They have no respect or understanding that they just cannot say and do the things that they do!!! Women are angry at men today because they treat us with GREAT disrespect. They use “weak” in a different sense, as if it makes us inferior to them. Honestly ladies, what I’m getting at is this: Women are unique creatures made by God to complete a man. We are our husbands other halves. We are stronger in some ways, and weaker in others. It is like they say “opposites attract”. We have roles made for us and we have to be happy to fulfill them, and we must be encouraging and understanding of each others weakness with respect and love.
For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
Here it shows that we were made for men. Honestly, the way I see it, is that this gives us the advantage! God created us to be companions for men. We are to be their better half, their help, their ROCK!!! Likewise, we were made for man, and so he must honor and respect Gods good gift to him. He must lead his family through life and treat them with LOVE and respect, just as Jesus did for his bride, the church.
So what really makes a submissive wife you may ask? It means to give your husband the role of “leader” and encourage him in it. Now there is a fine line between this and becoming a doormat. As we are human, we see things in black and white, and often times its hard for men to understand how this works unless they are truly men of God. Now if your husband says “go get me a beer woman” and you cower as he stares you down, that is when you may want to start standing up for yourself, but if your husband asks you not to go shopping every weekend and spend hundreds of dollars and you say “YOU CANT CONTROL ME!!!!” you need to take a good look at yourself because you are not in a marriage, you are doing something entirely different.
Now when I came into my own marriage I had a few “daddy issues” so to speak. I was abused as a child, in different ways, and I did NOT want a MAN telling me what to do!!!! I made it perfectly clear that I was going to do what I wanted and he had no say in anything. I had a separate bank account, my own job, separate friends, my own life outside the marriage, which isn’t always a bad thing, but this was to an extreme!!! I wasn’t just “separate” from my marriage, I wasn’t even IN a marriage! I would go out at night and leave my husband alone almost every night. He would speak out sometimes against me doing my thing and I would fly off the handle entirely because I did NOT want to be tied down.
One night I made quite a few mistakes that led me to searching myself, the bible, and God for what it meant to be married, what it meant to have a husband and be a wife. That was the best thing I have ever done. It was extremely difficult to change myself, and to live with my changes even though my husband was unsaved at the time and making it very very hard to be the “submissive” wife I wanted to be. He did not understand what It meant to lead, and not CONTROL. It was all about control. To both of us, for a very long time. For years. I did not give up though. I was saved and I refused to give that up. I became the leader in my submission. I became the head of household for a time because I was holding on to the holy spirit. Now this might confuse you, because I wasn’t perfect either. I had a lot of work being done on me by God. God had been slowly changing ALL of me. Molding and shifting my very personality! I was more and more submissive, and strong as the days went by. Slowly I had to learn to relinquish control, to my husband also, but mostly to God. That is the true meaning of submission in my life, I SUBMIT IT ALL TO THE LORD. It took a while but eventually my husband caught on to what was happening within me. He has his own story that I hope one day he will come on here and tell, but he began to allow the lord to work in him as well! Pretty soon “submission” wasn’t that difficult for either of us anymore. We took our roles that God gave us and we learned to respect those, and each others. It took time, and quite a few clashes, but GOD did all the work.
1 Peter 3
3 Wives, likewise, submit to your own husbands. Do this so that even if some of them refuse to believe the word, they may be won without a word by their wives’ way of life. 2 After all, they will have observed the reverent and holy manner of your lives. 3 Don’t try to make yourselves beautiful on the outside, with stylish hair or by wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Instead, make yourselves beautiful on the inside, in your hearts, with the enduring quality of a gentle, peaceful spirit. This type of beauty is very precious in God’s eyes. 5 For it was in this way that holy women who trusted in God used to make themselves beautiful, accepting the authority of their own husbands. 6 For example, Sarah accepted Abraham’s authority when she called him master. You have become her children when you do good and don’t respond to threats with fear.
With all that said, I think my point is pretty clear: GOD needs to be front and center in your life, your husbands life, and your marriage. If he is not, then its going to be pretty difficult for you in the long run. I can tell you all from experience that it is wonderful to have such a harmonious and respectful marriage. Now I’m not saying things are PERFECT, we are all human and we all make mistakes, but it is how you turn those mistakes around that matter. My husband and I have not gone to bed angry in over a year and I know that it has been because of God. When you give your life to God, give your marriage to him to, and watch while he works wonders in your life, your husbands life, and at the very heart of your family!
My prayer for you today is that you will allow God to take over your life, over your marriage, and teach you the REAL meaning of submission. I pray that you will not pass this message by without allowing the holy spirit to touch you in your heart. Your life and your marriage is too important and I pray that you will give it gladly to him. I pray that you will be given peace during trials, and hope during your times of doubt. I pray that the lord will walk with you wherever you are and wherever you go, so that you will always know his love and kindness. I pray you will pick up the sword of truth and never let it go because in it, is Gods truth, and help to get you through any problem and trial. In Jesus name I pray, amen.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. …
- 31 Days to Becoming a Better Wife: Day 16: Submission Definition (missybaroff.wordpress.com)
- Day 1: A Marriage that is Not of this World (joleneengle.com)
- “I Want a Divorce!” (peacefulwife.com)
- What A Balanced Family Looks Like (spiritualjava.org)
- Wives Submit To Your Husbands (knowjesusfirst.wordpress.com)